Hi? Alabama? Go the fuck home.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: random shit
• Date: Oct 1,2007

Want to purchase a vibrator in Alabama? Think again:

An adult-store owner had asked the justices to throw out the law as an unconstitutional intrusion into the privacy of the bedroom. But the Supreme Court declined to hear the appeal, leaving intact a lower court ruling that upheld the law.

You see, this is because Alabama is the average age of brides runs about 12. It’s one of those states that could drop off into the Gulf of Mexico and we’d only have to worry about that massive Krispy Kreme oil slick washing up on the west coast of Florida. More importantly, people in Alabama desperately need vibrators, mostly because the rest of us in the United States don’t want them procreating. Fuckers.

• Tyra Banks is going to talk up her VAGINA
• Run, Kelsey, RUN!
• More sleepless nights! More sleepless nights!