God scoffs at dying girl, counts Easter Sunday donations instead

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Mar 30,2008

Photo of very cute, yet very dead girl whose parents will go to Hell.

Police are conducting interviews Thursday in an effort to determine whether charges will be filed against a couple who prayed rather than seeking medical help for their 11-year-old daughter, who died Sunday from a treatable diabetic condition.

“We certainly believe that even though they firmly believed in their faith that they have a responsibility to provide medical attention for their daughter,” Everest Metro Police Chief Dan Vergin told FOX News.

More info at Fox News, which eats this crap up.

Please put it up for adoption. Please.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Mar 30,2008

via sexoteric

Most anticlimactic news photo ever

• Author: mike
• Filed under:
• Date: Mar 22,2008

“1 injured as car smashes into store”

Retard.

Audrina Partridge is naked, for realz

• Author: mike
• Filed under:
• Date: Mar 19,2008

First, let me tell you how I feel about The Hills.

The Hills is everything that is wrong with America, and then some - including being a potential portal for the four horsemen of the apocalypse to ride through after sodomizing a couple of the cast members (which is fine by me, just not the apocalypse part since .223 ammo is hard to come by these days and I’m woefully under-stocked if I want to take over and defend the nearest Walmart).

It’s a “reality” show that’s actually scripted, produced, it’s locations are scouted, it’s actors are made up professionals, and it’s lasted 3 goddamn seasons on what used to be the most ground-breaking music channel in the world, but what has now become a popularity contest run by Abercrombe douchebags and Valtrex-swilling whores. Anyone who works on the Hills or promotes it will end up in the 8th circle of Hell, specifically coming to reside in Bolgias 2, 6, and 8. So, at least we can look forward to them all being dead someday. In the meantime, please ogle the nekkid bewbs of Audrina Partridge at WWTDD. Whore.

And she’s pretty retarded-looking

• Author: mike
• Filed under:
• Date: Mar 18,2008

Someone who works for someone who works for the vodka company that makes Trump Vodka that works for Trump is gonna get their ass thrown in jail, according to TMZ:

In photos obtained by Nik Richie over at TheDirty.com, Chanell Elaine Hallett is seen working as a hostess — totally nude except for a little paint. According to the website, her drivers license suggests that her 18th birthday would’ve fallen about a week and a half after the Super Bowl week event. (And in case you’re wondering, it’s common for AZ licenses to be good for 50 years.)

Pics over at I Don’t Like You in That Way that lead me to wonder why she was working for a modeling agency to begin with. Wow.

Dumb

• Author: mike
• Filed under:
• Date: Mar 14,2008

Nice rendering of Manhattan you’ve got there.

Retardedness in the Ranks

• Author: mike
• Filed under:
• Date: Mar 14,2008

Quick - who can tell me what’s so utterly fucked about this picture?

Idiot…

“So fucking busted” Spitzer to step down by Monday

• Author: mike
• Filed under:
• Date: Mar 12,2008

CNN is reporting that Le Spitz is going to hand over gubernatorial duties to the vice-governor (or something - I think it’s Lt. Gov. David Paterson, who is legally blind and therefore more likely to go for the fatter, lower-dollar hookers than the 7-diamond ones):

Gov. Eliot Spitzer said Wednesday that he will step down from the state’s top office because he cannot allow his “private failings to disrupt the public’s work.”

“I am deeply sorry that I did not live up to what was expected of me,” he said in a brief news conference announcing his intention to resign, effective Monday. “I will try once again outside of politics to serve the common good.”

Gays more dangerous than terrorists

• Author: mike
• Filed under:
• Date: Mar 12,2008

Here we go again: some retard Congressperson has opened her mouth and proven how fucking dumb she is (pictured: some typical gay women doing typical gay women type things):

(Oklahoma City, Oklahoma) An Oklahoma lawmaker is warning her constituents that gays are taking over and have become more dangerous to the American way of life than terrorists.

State Rep. Sally Kern (R) made the remarks in a speech to a small gathering but did not know they were being recorded. The tape fell into the hands of The Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund which then posted it on YouTube on Friday. It has now been viewed by more than 250,000 people.

“The homosexual agenda is destroying this nation; it’s just a fact,” Kern declares.

“I’m not gay bashing, but according to God’s word that is not the right kind of lifestyle,” she said. “It has deadly consequences.”

The best part?

“What is wrong with me as an American exercising my free speech rights on a topic that is a very big issue today?” she said.

Kern told the station that she doesn’t know who taped the speech and when it was recorded.

“Shame on the person who didn’t have the courage to come and say, ‘I’m going to tape you and put it out on YouTube,’” she said.

Stand by your “free speech,” you asshole. If you have no problem exercising your free speech rights, then we’ll have no problem exercising ours…

Oh, cry me a nutsack-lacking river

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Mar 11,2008

So it’s not like I was linking all over his shit anyway, and I’ve decided I’m gonna jack his blog design, but the owner of Sexygirls Depot shut down his site…

…’cause his girlfriend found out about it.

My girlfriend found out about this website and has left me with no choice but to close it down.

I’m very sorry, especially to any loyal readers, that I had to take this action.

Thank you for visiting this site and I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.

For what it’s worth, just as a repost, this is my fiancé’s blessed-to-put-it-on-the-Yeti ass:

Grow a pair, dude.

Um, no.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Oct 10,2007

Esquire is now trying to say that Charlize Theron is the sexiest woman alive.

CLOSE ON CHARLIZE’s mouth, her lips bent in her particular smile, sexy and knowing, a little bit leering, just sweet enough that you feel wont to assume some connection, some secret between you. This is the big trick of sexiness. The big lie. But it’s no trick at all for her. She bites down on the pack of cigarettes and unspools the cellophane with her teeth, a luscious and familiar dissection.

Most annoying interview format ever. Sexiest woman alive? You’ve got to be kidding me. Does this retard have Internet access?

Sad, really.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , jesus
• Date: Oct 9,2007

Talk about overkill…

OCTOBER 8–An Alabama minister who died in June of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge’s death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to “please refrain from speculation” about what led to Aldridge’s demise, adding that, “we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ.”

But not to worry - it’s not like there’s, like, public records or anything. Talking about anything shoved up anyone’s ass or anything.