Friends With Benefits Prospectus

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome
• Date: Jul 5,2008

via sexoteric

If there’s anywhere I’d want to see a midnight undie run…

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome, lingerie
• Date: May 12,2008

…it’s Arizona State University. Oh hells yes.

Been there, done that. Now you can read the book.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome
• Date: May 5,2008

While there are plenty of ways you can totally fuck up your children without having to study up on it, here’s the manual should you need it:

There are countless books that will supposedly teach you how to properly raise your kids, but only one that takes the opposite approach. How To Traumatize Your Children is part of the ‘Self-Hurt Series’ of books and includes chapters that cover everything from narcissistic parenting to being your child’s best friend to the convenience of neglect and even how to enjoy the legacy of trauma you’ve carefully crafted. Because let’s be serious, what’s the point of putting all the time and effort into traumatizing your kids if you don’t end up becoming pseudo-famous thanks to a tell-all book or movie-of-the-week 30 years later?

Don’t hit the links. Fucking carpet bomb them.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome
• Date: May 5,2008

In a really weird case of “the Internets don’t seem to be that small…” Gizmodo has picked up on something that I found the other night while checking up on ammo prices for the AR:

Firearm-mounted golf ball launchers.

via Gizmodo, who can’t seem to understand that there is no such thing as a “blank bullet.”

Latest Nine Inch Nails albumn… well… FREE.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome
• Date: May 5,2008

From the dark corners of what only barely passes as sanity, otherwise known as Trent Reznor’s head:

as a thank you to our fans for your continued support, we are giving away the new nine inch nails album one hundred percent free, exclusively via nin.com.

the music is available in a variety of formats including high-quality MP3, FLAC or M4A lossless at CD quality and even higher-than-CD quality 24/96 WAVE. your link will include all options - all free. all downloads include a PDF with artwork and credits.

for those of you interested in physical products, fear not. we plan to make a version of this release available on CD and vinyl in july. details coming soon.

Uh, that means free, people. DOWNLOAD NOW.

Happy Wank It Month?

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome, wank it!
• Date: May 1,2008

May is the coolest month ever. You know why? ’cause you get to wank it - repeatedly, not just once on one day only - for THE WHOLE MONTH in celebration of something as ethereal as Steak and Blowjob Day.

Fleshbot’s got a greeeeeaaaaaat summary of the ins and outs (or lack thereof) of this, this most splendid of springtime months.

PS: get started here.

It’s why I have an xbox360.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome, geek
• Date: Apr 30,2008

Fuck.

And I’m supposed to be looking for a job. Like, a real-life day job. That’s going to pot now that Grand Theft Auto 4 is coming…

via Cameltap, which rules…

Well, I’ll be in my late 120’s when I kick it, apparently

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome
• Date: Apr 24,2008

The bonerific Jessica Rabbit in REAL LIFE OH MY GOD.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome, redheads
• Date: Apr 23,2008

Ok, so maybe it’s still CGI.

YouTube of the process in the rest of this post…

Read the rest of this entry »

Boners of a different sort: I want an STi. Period.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome
• Date: Apr 14,2008

via Cameltap, yo

A woman who Spitz

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome
• Date: Mar 11,2008

You really must be living under a rock to not have already heard about Elliot Spitzer’s fall from grace yesterday. So go ahead and read up on the psychoanalytical part of the whole thing, where people are theorizing why such a smart, hard-nosed asshole would almost deliberately get caught up in a prostitution investigation kind of like the one going on in Denver right now.

Blah blah blah. High-powered suit wants to get his dick wet. We’ve come to expect this stuff. What I’ll be waiting for is the full profiles of the hooooers (in my best north-Jersey) like Candace below:

More profile goodness at Wonkette, boring text-based reports or some shit at The Smoking Gun, and further Emperor’s Club profile pics at Huffington Post.

EDIT: No, seriously. Even though the Emperor’s Club website is 404, the profile pics are up on Huffingtonpost.com.

New job prospect

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome, lingerie, random shit
• Date: Dec 2,2007

I need a new job. Something that pays more and wants me to work less. Tall order, but there’s always the option of moving to a position in a company that offers other benefits:

“We have been waiting for this day all month. Today, we are super high, and don’t know where to put our eyes,” salesman Cai Mingda told Straits News. More than 90% of female workers reportedly went along with the spirit of the day and worked in their underwear.”

“Today, we are super high, and don’t know where to put our eyes.” I know exactly where I’d be putting my eyes, although the second point of order for a company culture shift like this is to get that hottie out of the little cubicle she’s crammed into and up on a stage. With poles. And, like, cage dancing. And hand out Cosmopolitans at lunch or something.

Amateurs.

If you’ve noticed I haven’t been around for a while…

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome, random shit
• Date: Dec 2,2007

…it’s ’cause I’ve been getting in some fresh tracks in Nepal:

A US TV presenter says he and his team have found a series of footprints in the Everest region of Nepal resembling descriptions of the mysterious Yeti.

The presenter and his colleagues say they are “very excited”, although they are not saying they definitely believe it is the mark of the Yeti.

Josh Gates and his crew work on a series called Destination Truth, which follows reports of fantastic creatures.

The footprints found on Wednesday have renewed Yeti excitement in Nepal.

Mr Gates said they had been searching by torchlight at night-time because, he said, alleged sightings of the yeti had usually taken place at night.

They did not see the so-called abominable snowman himself.

Welcome to my psychosis, everyone. Enjoy the stay.

Best wedding first dance. EVER.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome, random shit
• Date: Nov 22,2007

She’s Polish, bitches: Evelina Oboza

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , awesome, bewbs, random shit
• Date: Nov 17,2007

There’s a certain other Polish girl ’round here, too…