Do you know what’s retarded? Retards.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: May 3,2008

EDIT: Badgirl just dropped me a line, yo - she’s starting everything up again over at http://hotbox.thumblogger.com/!!!

I guess everyone always has their TOSes (terms of service) that you’ve got to follow if you want something for (next to) nothing. Badgirl’s been at this blogging thing for years now - she was one of the first to pick up The Yeti and start linking the living shit out of it. Plus, she puts out quality bewbs like none other. Everyone’s linking to her - and being linked from her.

Enter Blogger. She uses Blogger to post her junk like many out there (whom I’m not going to name in case the Blogger Police try to find ‘em). And today, a sad day, she gets shut down for whothefuckknowswhat. One of her blogs is still up and apparently following the TOS.

But there’s always her Dollhouse.

If you read this, Badgirl, you’ve got free hosting from me for a domain of your choosing for as long as it takes to get back on your feet…

- mike

PS: fuckers.

Oldie but goodie - the Grape Stomp Faceplant

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: May 2,2008

via Cameltap, who’s banners on the left side really just threw me for a goddamn loop and freaked out my dog.

FHM’s Sexiest Woman of 2008: Megan Fox

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Apr 24,2008

Although I can’t really respect any sort of ranking system that lets Britney Spears sneak in at #100…

So. True.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , humor, retards
• Date: Apr 13,2008

Think maybe I’ll head over to my local Walmart today and get some of the latest in lead-covered children’s toys or some shit. That Walmart? That’s some good fun right there. Lots. via goodshit

I will not put my dongle in that port. Ever.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards, sex
• Date: Apr 11,2008

via Gizmodo, it’s 10 Sex Toys That Are Confusing and Wrong. No, really - WTF?

You fat bastard. Cheney’s gettin’ some.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , bewbs, retards
• Date: Apr 9,2008

Posted on the White House website, this is supposedly a picture of Dick Cheney fishing on the Snake River:

The image quality isn’t so good, and it’s Flash-based or some shit. But if you look at the photo full-size, it sure as hell looks like there’s some nekkid bewbies being reflected in his sunglasses…

via sexoteric, yo

My grade school days would have been so boring instead

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Apr 4,2008

I probably spent a good number of hours totally high off of sharpies and munching on paste - not to mention watching my art teacher coming down from last weekend’s acid trips. And we didn’t have Xerox machines then - so we little fuckers were getting HIGH off that blue reproduction shit…

“This is really, really, seriously dangerous,” Benisch said.

In his letter suspending the child, Benisch wrote that smelling the marker fumes could cause the boy to “become intoxicated.”

A toxicologist with the Rocky Mountain Poison Control Center says that claim is nearly impossible.

Dr. Eric Lavonas says non-toxic markers like Sharpies, while pungent-smelling, cannot be used to get high.

“I don’t know whether it would be possible for a real overachiever to figure out a way to get high off them,” Lavonas said. “But in regular use, it’s just not something that’s going to happen.”

“If you went to Costco and bought 50 bags of Sharpies and did something to them, maybe there’s a way to get creative and make it happen,” Lavonas said.

If you’d like, you can read more about the retard of a principal who’s got no problem ignoring the opinion of a TRAINED TOXICOLOGIST and is choosing to keep little Eathan (the marker-huffing terrorist that he is) home…

Samsung unveils more ways to not get laid

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Apr 3,2008

A phone. With Second Life built in. Whoopdie-fuckin’-doo. Here’s a hint: you will never tap something as hot as the girls in that photo if Second Life turns you on.

God scoffs at dying girl, counts Easter Sunday donations instead

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Mar 30,2008

Photo of very cute, yet very dead girl whose parents will go to Hell.

Police are conducting interviews Thursday in an effort to determine whether charges will be filed against a couple who prayed rather than seeking medical help for their 11-year-old daughter, who died Sunday from a treatable diabetic condition.

“We certainly believe that even though they firmly believed in their faith that they have a responsibility to provide medical attention for their daughter,” Everest Metro Police Chief Dan Vergin told FOX News.

More info at Fox News, which eats this crap up.

Please put it up for adoption. Please.

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Mar 30,2008

via sexoteric

Oh, cry me a nutsack-lacking river

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , retards
• Date: Mar 11,2008

So it’s not like I was linking all over his shit anyway, and I’ve decided I’m gonna jack his blog design, but the owner of Sexygirls Depot shut down his site…

…’cause his girlfriend found out about it.

My girlfriend found out about this website and has left me with no choice but to close it down.

I’m very sorry, especially to any loyal readers, that I had to take this action.

Thank you for visiting this site and I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.

For what it’s worth, just as a repost, this is my fiancé’s blessed-to-put-it-on-the-Yeti ass:

Grow a pair, dude.

Tyra Banks is going to talk up her VAGINA

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , random shit, retards
• Date: Nov 2,2007

I really just cannot wait for this one. Oh, no. Baited breath. And I know of at least two girls out there waiting along with me:

She added, “We should be able to talk to our daughters, sisters, mothers and friends about our bodies and not be embarrassed. I hope after this show women will not be ashamed about what’s up down there.”

Banks gives her audience an anatomy quiz, welcomes two gynecologist to the show, and shows a segment in which she takes a 28-year-old Plano, Texas, woman to her very first gynecological appointment – all in an effort to educate women about what can be an uncomfortable topic.

Oh, fire up the fuckin’ TiVo for this one. Wouldn’t want to miss the queen of the self-absorbed trying to educate us on the holiest of holies, kids.

Run, Kelsey, RUN!

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , random shit, retards
• Date: Nov 2,2007

Shit. If the teacher that wanted all up over my junk at 13-years-old looked like this, I’d run too. Thing is, Fernando Rodriguez is running with her.

Authorities were still searching Wednesday for Peterson, 25, who they said fled from Lexington a week ago with a 13-year-old student from Lexington Middle School.

School officials had recently learned of a suspected “intimate relationship” between Peterson and the boy, Fernando Rodriguez.

Earlier that day, Oct. 25, school officials placed Peterson on paid administrative leave and confiscated her school-issued laptop computer.

They notified police when they found several letters and e-mails written by Peterson, a single parent, to the boy, stating that she loved him and that he was “the only person” that she would ever love again.

The teacher and the boy apparently fled in Peterson’s white Pontiac.

Jesus, people. If it’s a Pontiac it’s not fast. And it’s ugly enough to stand out like a herpes sore on Paris Hilton’s lower lip. If you’re interested in giving a reacharound to John Walsh, drop your sightings and anonymous tips over at America’s Most Wanted, of all places…

More sleepless nights! More sleepless nights!

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , random shit, retards
• Date: Nov 2,2007

…and I’m gonna get my ass beat down by some fundamentalists, yo.

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia — Malaysia’s Muslim men are suffering sleepless nights and cannot pray properly because their thoughts are distracted by a growing number of women who wear sexy clothes in public, a prominent cleric said.

Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat, the spiritual leader of the opposition Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party, said he wanted to speak about the “emotional abuse” that men face because it is seldom discussed, the party reported on its Web site Wednesday.

“We always [hear about] the abuse of children and wives in households, which is easily perceived by the eye, but the emotional abuse of men cannot be seen,” Nik Abdul Aziz said. “Our prayers become unfocused and our sleep is often disturbed.”

Oh, suck it, NikAbdulAzizNikMat - which really does sound like an Eminem lyric…

Americans Shouldn’t Cosplay

• Author: mike
• Filed under: , random shit, retards
• Date: Oct 24,2007

I’ve really never understood the whole cosplay thing. What I have always understood is that people make utter fools of themselves doing it.